Kiss Me, I'm Irish: Adventures at Blarney

 Blarney is perhaps best known for the Blarney stone: a rock in Blarney castle that is fabled to provide any lucky soul who kisses it the “gift of gab”. Men who kissed the stone could charm any lady into kissing him, or could charm a population to bestowing power upon him. Yes, how antiquated, but here is the actual copy of the claims of the stone:

 'Tis there's the stone that whoever kisses

He never misses to grow eloquent;

'Tis he may clamber to a lady's chamber,

Or become a member of Parliament.

"A noble spouter he'll sure turn out, or

An out and outer to be let alone;

Don't try to hinder him, or to bewilder him,

For he is a pilgrim from the Blarney stone."

Francis Sylvester Mahony^[13]

I was more or less just hoping to be pretty good at job interviews or presentations, but this works too.

My preconceptions of Blarney were not stellar. I had never imagined that the Blarney stone was a stone in a castle, but for some reason my mental image of it was as a part of a large manor. Additionally, we had heard that many locals like to pee on the Blarney stone to befoul it for the tourists.

Despite our lack of enthusiasm, we took a “while in Rome” mentality and decided to take “quick” stop in Blarney en route from Kilkenny to Killarney. I was NOT disappointed. This was definitely one of the highlights of the trip, and by far the best traditional “attraction”. 

My first impression was of the medieval feel of the castle. The exterior helped to set the tone of what secrets it held within. 

We were convinced of just how legit Blarney castle was when we saw that it had underground caves to help its inhabitants escape. 

So, naturally, we did our own spelunking. 

The doorways and staircases of the castle were hardly more spacious than the caves, which just reinforced how treacherous even mundane experiences like walking to your bedroom must have been.

  The views from the upper levels of the castle were well worth the climb. 

If I had a lifetime of living in Ireland, I would still not have my fill of seeing that emerald green.

Our climb through the castle concluded a the top, which was open, and allowed for the best views yet. 

My best views might have been watching my loves in awe of their surroundings. 

Finally, we came to the Blarney stone, which was way more fun than I had anticipated. The stone is on the underside of an outer stone at the very top of the castle. These metal bars are there so you can suspend yourself upside down and through a gaping hole to kiss the stone. Two strong locals are there to spot you, just in case (their presence was more unnerving to me than anything, at the prospect of actually needing them for safety).

After hanging perilously facing death (okay, I'm exaggerating a little…), the views of the Irish country side are at hand to help calm your nerves.

After kissing the stone and leaving the castle, the adventure was just beginning. 

I would argue that the castle grounds are where the real draw is:

Around every corner is a natural feature so unbelievable that it will make you feel as if you've entered your favourite still life portrait. 

The magnificence and grandiose nature of the landscape draw you into a magical world, where your imagination can reign free. 

Something to climb? Pat's all over it!

 Every pathway was a new adventure, where you never knew what awaited you around the corner.

For example, Alex felt inspired by his inner Legolas, and played pretend at being a woods Elf:

Meanwhile, I found my inner forest nymph. I had so much fun that I investigated some real estate.  

Yet another instalment in my series of "Pat climbing things he probably shouldn't":

Next, we happened across the Blarney witch's staircase. Legend has it that if you walk down the staircase backwards with your eyes closed focusing intently on a wish, the witch of Blarney will make your wish come true. 

Of course I'll do anything for a bit of magic. 

We also saw where the poor witch of Blarney is entrapped in a prison of stone. Can you see her? 

Pat decided to bookend our adventures at Blarney with yet another climb. (Are you surprised?  We weren't.) 

All told, Blarney was much more than a quick tourist cash grab. The castle was by far the most interesting, historically informative, and just generally awesome place I've ever been. Kissing the stone was a very cool experience, despite the level of cliche. Best of all was the sprawling grounds that invited our imaginations out to play. Blarney was easily one of my best travel days yet.  

Witches and Castles in Kilkenny

 Dear reader, this is where my Ireland trip differs from my other Europe trips greatly. I have become accustomed to my primary mode of transportation while travelling being my own two feet, and public transportation when absolutely necessary. But this time, in order to see Ireland wholly and truly, we rented a car.
             

The rental car process is an adventure in and of itself, let alone the actual feat of driving. And oh what a feat it was! Driving down two lane roads that were no wider than my driveway; hidden speed and traffic cameras everywhere; driving on the wrong side of the car on the wrong side of the road…

Oh, and there was also some pretty bad traffic.

The driving responsibility fell solely on P’s shoulder’s, because I was too young to rent a car (nevermind the fact that I was the one that taught him to drive). It was definitely a challenge for me to “take a back seat” and just trust in P’s adaptability. The extended insurance also really helped with this challenge!

So, after a couple days in Dublin, we picked up our rental car and drove to Kilkenny, a pretty town a couple of hours South East of Dublin. 

After the adventure of trying to park, we breathed a breath of relief and got settled into our hostel.

Just look at my motley crew:

Our first order of business was walking through town to scope out where to eat. On our wanders, we came across the COOLEST THING A CITY HAS EVER DONE. Okay, so I’m not really an authority or anything, but this was pretty awesome.

In the main strip on the lower side of the town, there was a row of stores and restaurants. Across from the storefronts, there was a boarded up area with wood painted on it, and notices about witches and witchcraft. Alex and I immediately swooned. But only it got even cooler, because through the deliberate knots and holes cut in the fence, a passerby could view through to the other side of the boards and see some awesome graffiti. This was such a cool and fun project that I had chills. 

It turns out that the area had been an eyesore in comparison to the shops across the street, so the town took on a beautification project and this is what they came up with. So much cooler than a flower garden in a traffic median, I’d say. The project they came up with drew upon local folklore about a witch named Alice Kyteler who owned an Inn + restaurant.

                                


                               


Most of the notices on the boards mentioned Kyteler, and the witch visible through the boards was ostensibly her. Kytler’s actual Inn had been transformed into a pub, so we made sure to stop in there for a bite and a pint. 

 After lunch we continued on our way to the very first legit castle I have ever seen. Although this would not end up on my favourites list, it will still always have a fond place in my heart for having been the first. 

The castle grounds were wonderfully kept, so we started by traipsing a circumference of the grounds, and just letting the magnificence of the structure impose itself on us.

Unfortunately we did not manage to take any pictures of the inside of the castle, but it had been set up as a very well curated and decorated museum. I would definitely recommend stopping by Kilkenny for a quick day trip if you’re in the region.