Kiss Me, I'm Irish: Adventures at Blarney

 Blarney is perhaps best known for the Blarney stone: a rock in Blarney castle that is fabled to provide any lucky soul who kisses it the “gift of gab”. Men who kissed the stone could charm any lady into kissing him, or could charm a population to bestowing power upon him. Yes, how antiquated, but here is the actual copy of the claims of the stone:

 'Tis there's the stone that whoever kisses

He never misses to grow eloquent;

'Tis he may clamber to a lady's chamber,

Or become a member of Parliament.

"A noble spouter he'll sure turn out, or

An out and outer to be let alone;

Don't try to hinder him, or to bewilder him,

For he is a pilgrim from the Blarney stone."

Francis Sylvester Mahony^[13]

I was more or less just hoping to be pretty good at job interviews or presentations, but this works too.

My preconceptions of Blarney were not stellar. I had never imagined that the Blarney stone was a stone in a castle, but for some reason my mental image of it was as a part of a large manor. Additionally, we had heard that many locals like to pee on the Blarney stone to befoul it for the tourists.

Despite our lack of enthusiasm, we took a “while in Rome” mentality and decided to take “quick” stop in Blarney en route from Kilkenny to Killarney. I was NOT disappointed. This was definitely one of the highlights of the trip, and by far the best traditional “attraction”. 

My first impression was of the medieval feel of the castle. The exterior helped to set the tone of what secrets it held within. 

We were convinced of just how legit Blarney castle was when we saw that it had underground caves to help its inhabitants escape. 

So, naturally, we did our own spelunking. 

The doorways and staircases of the castle were hardly more spacious than the caves, which just reinforced how treacherous even mundane experiences like walking to your bedroom must have been.

  The views from the upper levels of the castle were well worth the climb. 

If I had a lifetime of living in Ireland, I would still not have my fill of seeing that emerald green.

Our climb through the castle concluded a the top, which was open, and allowed for the best views yet. 

My best views might have been watching my loves in awe of their surroundings. 

Finally, we came to the Blarney stone, which was way more fun than I had anticipated. The stone is on the underside of an outer stone at the very top of the castle. These metal bars are there so you can suspend yourself upside down and through a gaping hole to kiss the stone. Two strong locals are there to spot you, just in case (their presence was more unnerving to me than anything, at the prospect of actually needing them for safety).

After hanging perilously facing death (okay, I'm exaggerating a little…), the views of the Irish country side are at hand to help calm your nerves.

After kissing the stone and leaving the castle, the adventure was just beginning. 

I would argue that the castle grounds are where the real draw is:

Around every corner is a natural feature so unbelievable that it will make you feel as if you've entered your favourite still life portrait. 

The magnificence and grandiose nature of the landscape draw you into a magical world, where your imagination can reign free. 

Something to climb? Pat's all over it!

 Every pathway was a new adventure, where you never knew what awaited you around the corner.

For example, Alex felt inspired by his inner Legolas, and played pretend at being a woods Elf:

Meanwhile, I found my inner forest nymph. I had so much fun that I investigated some real estate.  

Yet another instalment in my series of "Pat climbing things he probably shouldn't":

Next, we happened across the Blarney witch's staircase. Legend has it that if you walk down the staircase backwards with your eyes closed focusing intently on a wish, the witch of Blarney will make your wish come true. 

Of course I'll do anything for a bit of magic. 

We also saw where the poor witch of Blarney is entrapped in a prison of stone. Can you see her? 

Pat decided to bookend our adventures at Blarney with yet another climb. (Are you surprised?  We weren't.) 

All told, Blarney was much more than a quick tourist cash grab. The castle was by far the most interesting, historically informative, and just generally awesome place I've ever been. Kissing the stone was a very cool experience, despite the level of cliche. Best of all was the sprawling grounds that invited our imaginations out to play. Blarney was easily one of my best travel days yet.